Tea Time with Miyo

At times my Leo personality prevents me from showing weakness even to the people closest to me. Apparently this came off as me being insensitive, emotionless and stoic. Little did I know, it made someone feel less loved and cherished. I came too strong that I mask my true feelings most of the time.

I came across this reading by Eso Tarot and it dawned on me that at times there are things that need to be said so you can be understood. Sometimes we worry too much that if we become too honest to the people close to us, we become susceptible. I have had trust issues from previous relationships that I had kept this limiting belief to shield myself from pain.

My intuition became stronger and clearer when I get to open up my heart to two friends and from that heart-to-heart conversation I have realized I somewhat brought my relationship with this special someone to a point where we seem like strangers. It was like me digging our relationship its own grave. I am not saying I admit that it was entirely. my fault, it still takes two to tango, but I somewhat added fuel into the fire. We almost lost our connection, that spark that brought us together in the first place.

I realized that I was expecting him to open up his heart to me, when I wasn’t even willing to be vulnerable in front of him. I broke that barrier this week and I am glad I did. I poured my heart and soul to him, unexpectedly it allowed him to open himself to me as well. The words that I have been longing to hear and been questioning myself for the longest time, he answered exactly the way I hope it would be.

So I learned today that when you love, you have to be an open book to that person so he can have the ease and confidence to do the same. Being vulnerable to someone doesn’t show you are weak, but instead, it just tells that person how much he means to you. It was a realization that I learned the hard way that it has to take a Mercury transit in Aries to shake up my 7th House.

It was indeed a rollercoaster ride this week, but the most loved I’ve felt my entire life.

April 14, 2021 No comments

When you are trying to take control of things that you can't, doesn't that suck? Then there's this thought that messes with you and makes you wonder, is this just a game your mind plays on you or was it an intuition guiding you?

You were trying hard to look for an answer but the silence is void. Then your heart starts twitching, beating like a so crazy hard and you try to catch your breath as if the world is taking it off you. The anxiety kicks in, then your mind is like bursting to pieces. You feel defeated. You just lost it.

There are things in life that are just not meant to be, and yet at times we tend to control what's supposed to be. In the end there is a wave of disappointment, drowning your entire soul.

I've had this moment, that at times I question myself, why is that the universe is throwing rocks at me. Why is it that I am trying to manifest things and yet I am being shaken beyond belief?

I came to a breaking point and I felt like I was on the edge of death. As I was struggling for every breath, trying to slow down the pace of my heart and wishing to ease the stabbing pain, I felt my daughter touch me gently, telling me "breathe mommy" and she guided me like the way I did when I try to calm her down. I heard her breathe in deeply, and slowly exhaled through her mouth. Reminding me m, "breathe mommy."

Then I realized, there may be times when your world seems to have fallen apart, there is still a reason to keep standing. There is your WHY for not giving up, in my case, I have my kids who watches me and observes how I get through challenges and doubts. Here I am being coached by an 8-year old how to calm my nerves, saying "mommy needs Ylang Ylang for her heart."

I am at peace now, at least for the moment, thanks to my daughter, but there are still questions left unanswered in my head. I may not be able to find those answers. Maybe I didn't have to.

It occurred to me, at times the universe throws rocks at you because you are not where you are meant to be. So you either stay or step away. Maybe these rocks are the universe's way of getting me to where I should be, aligned to what I am trying to manifest. It is creating obstacles so I move to the path where I am supposed to be. It will never be an easy path, but it will never be easier if I keep resisting and forcing to take control. So I am letting go. I'll let destiny take me where I should be. I am surrendering it all and let the divine power guide me. Thy will be done, because I trust that it would direct me to where I wanted to be. It might not be the path where I wanted to take, it could be the path to prepare me to be worthy of where I am destined to be. For now, I am just praying that I get courage and strength to get through it all.

April 07, 2021 No comments

Have you had that feeling inside you, like a strong instinct, that something is wrong and yet you prefer to just brush it all off? At times my mind is playing games with me. Things that I would think about and worry of even when I am not sure if there’s even truth to it. Yet, it makes me feel as if it is true.

I don’t like when things like this happen. Only because I know for a fact that I have very strong manifesting powers, and if I think about it, it could potentially come true. How do you tame your mind and heart? I wish I knew.

I got a stabbing feeling in my heart right now for something that I personally built in my mind. Crazy right? I hate when it happens and hate it even more when I entertain and really get so into it. I have to be in control before I attract it and the universe grants it.

Sorry if I had to let these feelings out, but there are things that I just can’t tell people I know and being able to just vent it out kind of makes me feel better. I hope I do feel better. :)

My relationship with this person means so much to me, and I couldn’t afford to wreak it just because my paranoid mind is making me feel a certain way... so when do you trust a gut feeling? Argh I wish I knew! Anyway, I decided to release and cleanse this emotion that is starting to envelope my energy field. I shouldn’t be wasting time dwelling about this feeling.

So I recognized that there is jealousy and insecurity in my heart right now and I am letting this go, so I can allow myself to reprogram my feelings. Thanks to essential oils, I have something to support my emotions when they turn the other way. I took my Lemon and Acceptance and meditated to let go of these unwanted feelings that are starting to eat me up inside. Meditation really helped me shift things.

As I write this, I feel a lot better now, still not OK but better. My affirmations today are “I am free to move forward,” and “I learn from all life’s experiences.” I think I might need to add these in my daily affirmations when I am almost waking up.

All of us may get in this kind of situation where we start feeling unwanted emotions or we start paying attention to unpleasant things. I just want you to know that it is OK to feel these. Acknowledge it, but do not dwell on it. Being able to recognize that you don’t feel good about a certain thing, event or situation is OK. You don’t have to stop yourself from feeling it, because you are human. It is important though that you are able to, take control and determine how you will be able to turn things around. Dwelling into negative emotions and, even worse, trying to bottle it up and suppressing it would cause your physical body to store it in your DNA. Then that would manifest as a disease, then introduces another negative emotion, until you are trapped and stuck in the limbo.

So developing ways to cope and release would allow you to maintain a healthy mental and physical state. Remember our mind is powerful, that it can move things and events. The Law of Attraction, whether you believe it or not, works 24/7. It never stops, never pauses, never takes a time off. So being aware of your thoughts would make a huge difference. There will still be negative events coming in and out of your way, but these serve important lessons that you need as you traverse your life in the future. So embrace each imperfection the life brings you, but move forward stronger and better each time.

I hope my imperfect emotions have help you see that there is always a way out, and that you can get through whatever comes your way. I stopped telling people to “think of happy thoughts,” a few years ago because it is just encouraging someone to block and invalidate their emotions. Instead I say, “acknowledge that feeling, find its source, release and let go of it, find the courage to feel the opposite emotion, let it sink in to every part of your body and then look forward to a better future.”

Always remember we need to face our emotions head on, and not avoid it. The longer we delay, then the deeper it gets in our soul.

March 19, 2021 No comments

February 27, 2021 No comments

Here's another old story I wrote for my class in the Art Institute back in 2007. Disclaimer: I never had a BF/ex named Sam. I just liked that name and it was easy to type LOL. None of this are true and purely fictional but when I wrote this, I think I might be thinking about a crush or a puppy love hahaha! If you go in the same college as I was, the place described in the story is based on the hybrid of the UP Sunken Garden and UP Track Oval. Two places where I used to find peace and daydream when I was in the university hehehe..

Remembering Sam

It occurred to me again, in the middle of one hot sunny day. As the wind blew upon my face, I slowly walked on the school field, unknowingly of what was bound to happen that day. I could clearly remember the smell of the fresh-cut grass and the sound of the deafening silence while I looked for a place where I could settle down. I found a spot at last. The field was a huge piece of land with manicured grass and few wild flowers that randomly spring in patches. Surrounding it were big old Narra trees evenly spaced from each other. It was a surprise that no one walked on the field that day. The bleachers were even more surprisingly to be so silent, waiting for anyone to occupy it.

I sat on the wooden bench and looked around. There was no trace of anybody. I was facing the field, and at the other side, I could clearly see the flyers on the bleachers from the last night’s game being blown away by the strong wind. For some reason, I felt so empty inside. At the back of my mind I knew that there were memories wanting to escape as I sat here and observed the serenity of the place. This was Sam’s favorite spot. It has been three months since we last talked and I still had vivid reminiscences of our last day together. The image of him saying goodbye was still clear and lost memories of him began to enter my mind profusely, filling my awareness with remembrances of us together. I tried not to pay attention to what my mind wanted me to visualize at that moment, and yet, it managed to permeate my system as if it was an expertise, my heart felt so heavy inside. I missed Sam. I missed him more than anything in this world. I closed my eyes and felt a tear fell on my right cheek. I never bothered to wipe it off instead I meditated and enjoyed the peacefulness of the place as the tear slowly flowed down my cheek.

A warm breeze gently kissed my ears and I felt someone touched my shoulder. I raised my head and to my surprise, I think it was Sam. The sun was up just behind him making me almost blind, I could hardly recognize if it was really he. My thoughts graced my mind like a whirlwind and I asked myself if I was dreaming or not. I suspended my disbelief when he smiled at me, the same smile that left me breathless and that gave me chills all the time. He looked so handsome. I suddenly felt a twinge of happiness inside.

The wind lifted and scattered leaves in front of Sam as he sat beside me. Again, his memory unearthed itself like it was trying to return to bring an end to an unfinished business. Recollections of yesterday’s late afternoon walks, holding hands, text messages, endless laughter and unbreakable proclamations of promises began to saturate my thoughts. It was funny indeed because at that moment I felt like I’m about to go insane. Mixed feelings and emotions spawned like it would make my heart explode.

For a split-second, Sam held me in his arms. I laid my head on his chest and hugged him tight as if I never wanted to let him go. Finally, I was able to enjoy his fragrance for it has been so long since I last inhaled his sweet cologne. Yet, that scent has been lingering in my mind moment by moment. I felt the warmth and smelled the sweetness of his breath as he told me how much he missed me. The happiness was overwhelming making me speechless so instead I smiled and embraced him more. He touched my face, lifted my head and asked me if there was anything wrong. I only gave him a shrug and smiled. I know he would kiss me for he tried to lean over and held me tighter. So, in response to his gestures, I shifted my weight, leaned back, closed my eyes and waited until his sweet lips touch mine.

I fell off the bench we were sitting on. Just like any wraithlike fleeting moment, the image of Sam disappeared. A couple of kids were now sitting twenty rows up the bleachers, I can hardly hear from afar but the silence was void, I was wondering if they ever noticed me. I was hallucinating again. I gathered up my books and as I picked up the last item on the ground, there lies Sam’s picture. Carefully I took his picture and held it close to my chest as I told my self that someday he would come back for me and take me away from this loneliness.

February 22, 2021 No comments

My friends and I decided that we will go ahead with the ten-day Master Cleanse starting today. I have been hesitant at first but since I am already getting symptoms of deterioration in my heart, I feel that it is alredy time that I focus again on my physical health. I have been too focused in my spiritual, emotional and mental well-being that I failed to recognize that all four areas go hand in hand in achieving holistic wellness.

Basically this Master Cleanse would enable us to clean our guts since the center of ones health is in the gut. Good thing my doctor gave me a go on this. I was too scared that he would say no :D I will be monitoring my progress on this and hopefully will be able to share some snippets of my journey.

We started with a 3-day precleanse which to me did not do much since most of the things that we started to wean off from the diet, I am not eating. Day 1 would be removing caffeine, refined sugar and processed foods. Day 2 would then remove dairy products and Day 3 is when we get rid of the meat. Day three is a bit challenging only because it is really hard to find a meal that would not require meat (well at least from where I am from where our meals are entirely with either pork, chicken or beef). Also, I wanted to make sure that my husband is on-board with this since he is going to do the cleanse with me too. So I need to make sure that he is not getting discouraged even before we start.

I toook an herbal laxative tonight which scares me thinking about what would come out tomorrow (sorry TMI) hehehe... but I am scared of anything that crawls and they said the parasites that have been living in our gut for a long time would want to go after this cleanse LOL. Hey all of us have that! I tell you you need to be thinking about doing this cleanse too in the future.

Anyway tomorrow is Day 1 for the official cleanse, we will be completely shutting off our digestive system and focus on the cleanse. For 10 days, I will just be taking a Master Cleanse drink made of just lemon, grade A maple syrup, cayenne pepperr and water. OMG for 10 days! I don't know how much I would be able to resist the cravings but I shouldn't worry about the nutrition since I will be getting all the nutritional requirements my body would need from those 4 ingredients.

I will tell more about this as I go on with this. I will be updating this blog post daily to give you an update on what I felt, emotions that came up and the challenges.

DAY 1 - 2/22/2021

So far so good. Probably because I am still excited hehehe.. I am surprised that I didn’t have a hard time getting my husband take the salt-water flush (SWF). I had to mix 2 teaspoons of sea salt with 1L of water and consume it in 10-15 minutes. This would help in flushing out the junk inside. Taking the Master Cleanse Drink (MCD) entire day seems fine. I didn’t have cravings at all and my hubby didn’t complain so all is good. Hehe... there was a bit of challenge though because I have to prepare every hour. I did the concentrate but I cannot prepare way to many since we need to have just enough that we can consume in 8 hours. I think we both had 9 glasses today. I didn’t count at all! But we did get around a glass within 1-1.5 hrs. I felt a bit cold for some reason but maybe because I am Type O. So I guess my body temperature dropped.

I also did my cleansing yoga, focusing on breathing exercises and allowing my blood to circulate. What’s good about today though is that I noticed my blood pressure to be lower.. woo hoo! Not sure if it is the yoga or the drink? Or maybe the meds? Hehe whatever it is hope that as I continue in the next 10 days, I’ll have better readings and that my doc will reduce the dosage.

Anyway I have one more round of MCD today and then will take my laxative and call it a day! :)

DAY 2 - 2/23/2021

OK Day 2 did not start quite well for me. I tried mixing 2tsp of sea salt to 500ml water thinking that it would be easier to swallow the SWF at lower volume and follow through with 500ml plain water. Boy, I am so wrong! :) I felt like throwing up all morning, it was worse than getting morning sickness. Still amazed by how my husband is able to take it without bitching about it hehehe.. I spent an hour in the toilet but it was the most satisfying feeling ever hehehehe!

Overall it was good, no cravings and other challenge with just taking MCD throughout the day. I just have minor issues with my thigh muscles being sore (not sure if this is an effect of the cleanse or the effect of the yoga activity I did the previous day) hehehe..

I have an option to take Swiss Kriss (tablets) or Smooth Move (tea) as laxative and I feel that Swiss Kriss is a better option for me. There is much prep needed for the tea and usually I am already spent by the end of my day. I added YL’s Inner Defense in my regimen to kill any parasites in my body. Anyway I don’t know what tomorrow will be so we’ll see hehehe..

DAY 3: 2/24/2021

Day 3 wasn’t that bad at all but it is getting more challenging taking the SWF. I was contemplating about taking the laxative instead the next day instead of SWF. I am worried that my hubby isn’t saying much.. not even a complaint! He would just take whatever I hand him when I thought it would be a struggle for the entire 10 days hehehe.. I shouldn’t be bothered right? I frequently check him for anything he feels or any discomfort.. he’s like nada! Hmm..

As for me, I feel a bit sullen today so I went ahead an lay down my bed and listened to sound bath by Healing Vibrations on YT. I listened to their endocrine cleanse video and it helped relaxed me. I still didn’t do yoga today, ahh my thighs! Hope tomorrow I would be able to :)

I attended Tom Woloshyn’s Master Cleanse class today and I am glad I did. I had more understanding of how this works and it isn’t just another diet fad. This focuses on cleaning your body and reviving your gut and digestive system. I feel a lot better actually compared to when I was eating the usual junk I enjoy bingeing on. I am still waiting tho to eliminate the waste since I feel that my body isn’t releasing them yet.

I also attended Ed Dailey’s class on Super Gut, very timely when I am working towards cleansing the gut. His class made me crave for baked salmon and Brussels sprouts haha! My list of what to eat after cleanse is building up heehehe.

Entire day went fine, we had 11 glasses today. I decided to add 1 more tablet of the laxative and a capsule of YL’s Inner Defense and see how it would make me move the junk out. We’ll see.. for now Day 3 is over :)

Best quote for today, from Tom, is “when life hands you lemons, Master Cleanse.”

Day 4: 2/25/2021

Trigger warning: TMI

When they said “never trust a fart,” I thought it was said in exaggeration but boy I was so damn wrong! :) I didn’t expect that I would even experience it but noooo I was now a victim.. a living testimonial LOL!

Anyway, remember I decided to add another tablet of the Swiss Kriss as laxative? Not a good idea! :) I didn’t sleep last night cuz I kept running to the bathroom haha! Also there is a feeling of pain, similar to diarrhea whenever I need to go. So I guess 2 tabs should be enough. My husband seems fine tho with 3, so I will keep giving him 3. I also deferred taking laxative in the morning as alternative for the SWF since it might not do well from last night’s struggle. So I had to suffer taking the 1L SWF again T___T

I wonder if this cleanse would help my husband sleep better at night. He normally doesn’t get deep sleep so most of the times he feels tired waking in the morning. So hopefully this would show improvement. Anyway I hope this would help him a lot!

Day isn’t over yet but I feel like writing an update already cuz it’s only been 3 hrs since I woke up and I feel that I am already half through my day :D hehehehe! I might do yoga today, my thighs isn’t that sore anymore so yeah.. see you in a bit!

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I did yoga this afternoon and my favorite part was the gong. I feel weird though, it was a good weird feeling, as if there is energy flowing in my body. It was perfect! Doing the yoga kind of lifted up my spirits so yeah.

I was a bit worried about my husband though, he hasn’t been talking much and just taking what I give him. I am worried that things are going through his mind as his body cleanses his emotions as well, and he is not telling me! Maybe I am just too paranoid hehe.. I hope though that it would heal whatever need healing in his body and mind.

Anyway, I think that would be it for today, I did about 9 glasses today a little less than what I normally have from the past days but all is good. :) See you again for another update tomorrow. :)

Day 5: 2/26/2021

Half-way through! There isn’t much about today aside from the more usual trips to the bathroom. I felt that I am getting less hungry compared to when I first started the cleanse. I started to crave chewing something hehe but not to an extent that I would want to stop the cleanse already. For some reason my body is wanting to go on beyond 10 days hehehe..

I so got used to the routine of prepping the MCD for me and my husband that it became a habit. I normally consume about 9-10 glasses in a day, but the need to have one declined.

SWF is still a pain in the ass :D hahaha.. I haven’t tried taking laxative in lieu of the SWF but I will give it a try this weekend. Five more days and we are done! Jia you Miyo!

Day 6: 2/27/2021

Nothing unusual today except that I noticed that I eliminate less, not sure if it was because I switched from taking SWF to laxatives instead. I didn’t feel hungry or needing to take more MCD like before, I think I pretty much done with 6 but I tried to get to 8 today since my blood sugar might drop like crazy.

Here’s one thing I wanted to share about my experience, being at day 6 in my cleanse. For the past months, my blood pressure is ranging at 171-197/102-119 even with meds. My doc decided to double the dosage of my maintenance meds to help alleviate the symptom. He warned me though that it would be very tough to get me to normal but getting to around 150 systolic is our goal. I asked him about doing a cleanse and he told me that if it would help, then I can do it. I just need to make sure that I monitor regularly.

After 3 days pre-cleanse and 2 days into the cleanse, I noticed that I am already in below the goal range 136-153/87-103. Still high but my doc said unless we find the root cause, we can’t expect it to go lower. Day 4 into the cleanse, my range is at 136-146/87-97. Day 6, I checked again and guess what? It was 129/86 woo hoo! You know what’s even more amazing? I actually reduced my dose back to original since they said when doing the cleanse, it is advisable to wean off medication. I am not comfortable doing that for the time being but I went back to the previous dose that was given to me when my blood pressure is lower.

I plan to continue on doing the master cleanse for a longer period so I can hopefully wean off my meds for good. This made me excited to see my doc next month :D hehehe.. Hope he would agree to further reduce my meds. I am just glad that my doc considers how I wanted to be treated. I usually negotiate with him not to get me into medication provided that I would work through it with proper diet and nutrition. There are cases where he won’t agree if he thinks I am at risk but most of the time, he just let me be. :) Hope I get better news in the next days.

I am at awe with how our body can fully heal itself if only we give it rest and opportunity to do so. This cleanse would be a regular regimen for me moving forward. I cannot give up the sinly foods that I enjoy but knowing that I will be able to flush off any junk it leaves in my body is a compromise that I am willing to give quarterly.

Day 7: 2/28/2021

Wow I can’t believe that I am in day 7 already. Time flies! I think I am enjoying the experience so much that I am actually not feeling like I am torturing myself hehehe... I actually feel good! Normally when I try a restrictive diet or program, in just few days I would feel really bad and that I would just stop doing it. With the cleanse, it is the other way around. The only craving I got was the thought of chewing something and tasting different flavors... but it isn’t that much of a craving that I really feel bad and wanting to stop.

I am happy too that Warren, my hubby, is doing this with me. I am surprised that he lasted this long without complaints! I was anticipating that I would have a hard time making him do it and that I would end up forcing him to, but for some reason, he just did it. :) I hope it would also do good for him. He isn’t talking much about his experience but I am assuming he is feeling good about it, since he is still doing it with me LOL

Anyway I am excited to chew LOL Three more days and then I would be in another post cleanse for 3 days. I am still figuring out some vegetable broth recipes that Warren would willingly take in hehehe.. This makes me crave for spinach and scallops soup hehehe.. anyway it is just the start of my day and I haven’t even taken MCD yet. I don’t feel hungry at all! I’ll update you more later today. I probably do yoga so yeah.

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Days 8-10 3/3/2021

The last 3 days of cleanse is a bit drag hahaha but the best thing I noticed is that my blood pressure has been consistently low :) I am surprised that I actually did it! When I first heard about this cleanse, my first reaction was, not another fasting fad! I am so glad to have friends who encouraged me to do this and to just take the plunge. This experience is life changing to me and it showed me how important it is to keep the gut healthy.

I may have achieved getting this cleanse to completion (and convincing my hubby to do it too) but the real challenge is maintaining it. I didn’t want to just be relying on a cleanse and go back to my old ways of eating junk.

So before I ended my 10 days, I went ahead and did something that I have been wanting to do since 2017. I reached out to Dr. Harvey de Baron, of Baron Method, to finally coach me into changing my lifestyle and focusing on nutrition to drive my health. I have wanted so hard to wean off meds, and the only way to do it is to go hard on health.

I have the tools and knowledge about eliminating toxins in my household and body. I have education about the clinical use of essential oils to reduce our dependency on meds for mild to moderate symptoms, preventing excess burden to our liver and kidneys. However, I lack knowledge in nutrition. So this wellness journey that I am in is taking me to finally learn about nutrition. So I can continue to build a healthier lifestyle of me, my husband and kids.

So as I end my 10th day, instead of thinking about the endless cravings and mukbang sessions that I will be doing in the next few days, I am excited to start preparing healthy meals made of REAL food for my family :) It would cost me, but at least in a long term, would save us hospital bills and expenses for developing chronic illnesses from the cumulative effect of junk that we brought in our tummies.

February 22, 2021 No comments

I thought I'd share a short essay I wrote in my English class in the Art Institute back in May 2007. We were asked to write a classification essay and I decided I'd write about how women's emo are classified. I wanted to be creative and never wanted to write a boring long essay so I figured I'd present the idea through a short story. I enjoy writing as a hobby before and used to write stories and songs when I was a teen.

You probably wonder how I came up with the characters in the story. The girls I wrote about are the girl friends I met in this MMORPG game that I was playing that time. They are my bestest friends I guess.. and they are my inspiration! And yes, how I portrayed everyone in the story is actually how I see those girls are in real. I know each of us have met a girl or two from the story. It makes me smile thinking about girls that come to my mind when I read this. Which one are you?

GIRLS

10pm at Starbucks café, four of us sit on our usual spot. This is our weekly routine. My Saturday night group: Charm, Kianna and Joyce. Women of different attitude and different emotions, we stick together in every problem and issue. Unlike any other regular Saturday, the place isn’t that full tonight. There are a few vacant seats waiting to be occupied. The line at the counter isn’t that long, not like the other time I waited for like 30 minutes before I finally got served. Oh well, it may seem different today but to us, it is still the same night out we regularly have. As usual Charm is the center of attention tonight, endlessly telling us about how she is suffering from the petty fight she and her boyfriend had this morning. I start thinking, “Haha, I bet petty isn’t that petty at all! I knew Charm so well..” Kianna, the most silent among us, just stare blankly at her coffee saying nothing at all. She is the one who will listen to us most of the time and yet will not even talk about what she is thinking. Thank God, Joyce is around. Well without her, I bet Charm will lose her temper again and will leave the rest of us turning red from humiliation. Joyce, I think is the most rational among us. Always getting things in order, she is our shock absorber.

Being with my friends almost every week, I come to realize that women are known to be very emotional and expressive when comes to their feelings. No doubt about it, we love a good cry and are real stars in our own story. Although we appear to deal with same things, we differ in the way we react to some circumstances. We are like actresses of different level in a story, having different reactions for every situation. Like my friends, each of them has their own way of expressing their feelings.

Charm is histrionic and she makes every move by blowing everything out of proportion. She cries for simple things and she turns every ingredient of her life in to a drama. She is a Dramatic Diva. We often call her that. She’s always hungry for sympathy and always trying to reap for compassion from others. As long as there is an opportunity, she can convert circumstances into a stage where she can have the limelight. Like today, as usual, the topic is about her. Her eyes are now so red from crying and it’s funny because there isn’t really a reason to cry. Kianna whispers to me, “Miyo, I thought she said it was a petty fight? What’s with the fuss?” I just shrug and give her a wink. To me, Charm is the most emotional creature God has ever created. Her reaction is so intense as if it was a tediously learned skill that has been harnessed for ages. It is very hard for her to choose rational ways to deal with issues since she tends to launch into hysterics whenever a problem arises. Good thing we are here to keep her sane most of the time. We always tell her that she should try to control her emotions whenever she feels angry, stressed or overwhelmed by trying to find healthy ways to handle her problems. We even gave her a diary so she can write down her sentiments and we advice her that, she can go over the problem and find a solution to it after her mood changes.

On the other hand, Kianna, the Let-It-Go Girl, never fusses with anybody. Sometimes I feel she is so afraid to show her true feelings and most likely she just keeps it to her self. Well, at times she gives me whispers whenever she feels like telling me, but it is very rare to happen. She never airs what she thinks and what she feels, that in a result, it is causing her self-esteem to crash down. Normally, she doesn’t have a feeling of control among us since she is not wholeheartedly devoted in anything. Tonight, I know she is getting annoyed already since our girl friend is taking much of our time talking about her “petty” problem, and yet she keeps staring at each one of us like trying to tell us to do something. She is most likely to be dominated and abused. Since she doesn’t let out her feelings that easily, most of the time she is taken for granted. I can sense that she also has something to share tonight. I can see it in her eyes, but she wouldn’t tell. I know she won’t even tell me if I ask her. I have always tried to tell her that she should start taking steps toward being heard. Instead of just giving a shrug every time we talk about our problems, I tell her that, she also needs to voice out what bothers her for disturbing the peace. I turned to her and said. “Kianna, I know that you are annoyed already, come on talk!” She just smiled sourly. I added, “Hey, everybody has a right to be heard and to express her feelings..” I looked at Charm, ”..that is, in moderation.”

The balanced type and most wanted among us is Joyce, the Cool Chic. She is most likely the girl everyone wants to date, befriend or work with since she can handle life’s situations with finesse whether how high or low a condition is. She is the problem solver and often asked for advice since she can keep her emotions in check. I observe that in every conflict, she tries to center herself by doing other things and then face the tight spot straight out. She is attentively listening to Charm right now and continuously asking her questions about how and why it happened. “Charm, you need to focus on the problem and not your emotions,” I hear Joyce say. The best thing about Joyce is that she doesn’t dominate the spotlight in order to handle sticky situations. She puts everything in the right place and knows how to fight for what is fair. She can stand up for herself and knows when to stop if it is beyond her control.

12pm and I never realize we’ve been here that long. The place is full now and there are about ten to fifteen people waiting for a space. Well, finally Charm is coming to her senses already, I suppose, since she stopped crying. I stand up and say, “Girls, let’s go somewhere and have fun! This is our night so let’s make the most of it. We got only one day to spend together every week, remember?” They agree with me and begin preparing to leave. As I turn away, Charm grabs my hand, “Let’s go fix ourselves first, I need to be stunning tonight.” We all laugh. Tonight I realize that whether life is like one big soap opera or is too boring to bear, one should know how to balance one’s emotions. True sometimes, that some dilemmas do deserve an Oscar-winning performance, but it isn’t worthy making one self feel stressed and abused. On the other hand, we should be reminded that some things are worth the trouble and that everyone deserves to give her feelings free rein.

February 22, 2021 No comments

Tea Time with Miyo

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